Getting Lost...I mean Exploring Downtown Changwon

Hmm. Where to begin? I know...Korean imitation Oreos taste just like the original. How do I know this? Because I grabbed a pack when I visited the 7-Eleven for the first time in Downtown Changwon. This weekend I decided it was time for me to branch out of my neighborhood and see the downtown area of my city, Changwon. This adventure involved me taking the bus for the first time as well. That experience wasn't too bad; aside from the fact that I had to hold on for dear life as the bus sped down the street and around curves and then slammed on the brakes as it reached a stop sending everyone who was standing (which was most people) flying forward. Hahaha...ugh. So, after surviving the bus I went to Starbucks to hang out for a bit and spend some time with God. I have been avoiding Starbucks here in Korea partly because I haven't been in the mood for coffee and partly because there are SO MANY coffee shops here that I feel like I should try something new. I mean I've lived and breathed Starbucks for the past 4 years as I worked for the company. Time to branch out. But, alas, I ended up at Starbucks after all. I got a chai latte and it actually was very delicious. It tasted just like chai's in the States, except it was more foamy and pretty.

See. Pretty.

I saw a couple other Westerners at Starbucks. I also did a little people watching out the window and in the store. {Funny story: I'm looking out the window and I see these two Korean guys walking by. They notice me and then begin to stare. I notice them staring. They notice me noticing them so one of them waves at me. I smile and nod at them. They then turn to each other and talk very excitedly as they continue walking. I laugh. I've just brightened their day and they've just brightened mine.} I spent about an hour at Starbucks reading my Bible and writing in a journal, then I decided it was time to explore the city and find a place to eat lunch.

 

I saw lots of interesting sights. So many stores, restaurants, coffee shops, and bars. The names of all of these places were written on the sides of the buildings. Yes, you can find yourself eating in a restaurant on the 4th floor of a building or buying books from a huge bookstore in the basement of a building. That's how it goes in Korea.

business/restaurant signs on the buildings.

 

One of the streets in Downtown Changwon.

After searching for half an hour for a Korean restaurant that I could eat at alone (many served multiple people so they were priced with that in mind) I settled on a Western restaurant called Kraze Burger. They bragged about using 100% Australian Beef. I got a hamburger and a drink. Pretty good. Maybe one day if I'm craving chili cheese fries I'll try their fry selection.

After lunch I wandered around some more. I should mention that about this time I wasn't really sure where I was in the city but I figured I could eventually find the major intersection where I catch the bus. It's a big, wide open roundabout. As I walked around I found the dollar/discount store, Daiso. I bought a much needed teapot and a few other items. Across the street was a Hello Kitty Cafe. It's sickeningly pink.

Daiso Discount Store

Hello Kitty Cafe - ugh, I'm not really a big fan of Hello Kitty.

At this point I realized I was heading into an area that looked familiar. I wanted to go to Emart, A huge grocery store, but I saw a sign for the bookstore, Kyobo, on the side of a building so I decided to make a detour. I enjoyed the bookstore because there were so many people there reading the books instead of buying them. :) I also had a look at the English section, which had a nice number of books in English.

Finally, I made my way to Emart. That was a fun experience. People were everywhere and the workers were giving out samples of food everywhere. I tried a sample of soup, tofu, and garlic bread. I definitely like the feel of Emart better than Lotte Mart, but Lotte is closer to my house so I'll be going there most of the time. After that I got back on the crazy, speeding bus and went home. All in all it was a pretty good day.

Beautiful dresses I saw while window shopping. Notice the cute matching child outfit.

 

The Roundabout with mountains in the distance.

Another section of the roundabout.

 

I liked this cello/violin statue outside of Emart.

Items purchased from the store. (Emart and Lotte Mart)

Enjoy this video of stuff I bought from the grocery store.

 

Visa Delays and First Week in South Korea

Wow. I'm here. I'm living and working in South Korea. Every time I look out my window I am amazed at where the Lord has brought me in life. I can't believe I'm living in another country where most people don't speak or understand my language and where my dark skin and curly hair make me stick out like a sore thumb. It's kind of funny....and kind of frustrating. Well I've spent a total of 7 days in Korea and I think it's time to update everyone about how my first week has gone.

Delays - Visa and Passport
Many of you know that my plan was to leave on Tuesday to fly out to Korea. Well God's timing was a little different than mine. My visa and passport (which had been sent to the Korean Consulate in Chicago) had a delay in processing. Apparently I live near one of the more busier Korean Consulates so instead of the visa processing taking 2-3 days it took a minimum of 5 days. I know this because I called the Consulate to get a definite time of when my passport would be overnighted to me. They received it on a Wednesday and didn't send it back to me until the following Wednesday. At first I was annoyed about this because it meant I wouldn't get to train with the previous teacher at my school before she left, but then I realized that this also meant I got to spend extra time with my family before saying goodbye. (I think I needed the time with my family more.) Thank you Lord!

The Journey Begins - 24 hours of Traveling
My Korean School directors couldn't book me a flight out of Cleveland due to restrictions with their travel agency so I had to fly out of Columbus. Thankfully my wonderful family (Cara, Kenan, Mykka, and Julius) and prayer partner (Carolee) joined me on a 2.5 hour drive to Columbus early Sunday morning. My flight was scheduled to leave at 7:43am so Cara and I left at 3am from our apartment in Cleveland to join Carolee and my other family for the drive to the airport. Check-in went smoothly. I was one pound under the 50lb weight limit for my two checked luggage bags (whew!). After a silly, tired, and emotional goodbye I entered the plane to fly to Chicago.

Me and My nephew, Julius

The family

 

Me and Carolee

Goodbye Sis

Chicago was interesting. I said a final goodbye to ethnic diversity. (Sorry, I'm just being honest. It's one of the things I love about the USA.) And had a farewell breakfast of a Chicago hotdog (when in Rome...). Then I hoped onto the shuttle to the International Terminal.

I flew with Asiana Airlines. It was a very pleasant experience. The stewardesses were very friendly and I was able to sample some delicious Korean food - Bibimbap (비빔밥). Yes Cara, I poured the entire thing of hot pepper sauce into the dish! I like spicy food. I had a window seat so I was able to get a first glimpse of South Korea from the air. Beautiful!

 

This isn't the Bibimbap. I forgot to take a picture of it so I took a picture of this second meal. It was a western chicken dish.

The can says...you guessed it: Suh-puh-rah-i-tah. Sprite.

South Korea from the plane.

Immigration was surprisingly easy. There were eight separate lines but they all moved at a good pace. When it was my turn they scanned my index fingers to get fingerprints, read my visa in my passport, and then stamped the passport. Done! Thankfully my bags all arrived so I gathered them up onto a cart and made my way out into the main airport. An airport worker immediately asked me if I needed help. I told him I needed to buy a bus ticket to Changwon. They pointed me in the direction I should go and shortly after that I had a bus ticket in my hand.

Immigration

As I waited for the bus I met a guy from South Africa named Johann. Johann had taught in Changwon in the past and was returning to teach after a short break. He helped me to get onto the correct bus and told me a lot of helpful information about living in South Korea. I thank the Lord for bringing him to help me during this final slightly confusing part of my trip. (Who knew you had to put on a seat belt when riding the intercity bus in South Korea?)  I was met at the bus station by the directors of my school. They took me to my apartment where I skyped my family and then went to bed.

Teaching
The next day I met my coworkers including the other western teacher, Wilhelm, who is from South Africa. We went to the hospital with our School Directors to do a health check (required by immigration). The health check was it's own odd experience. Afterwards I began my first day of teaching. I work from 1pm-9pm. The actual teaching starts at 3pm and ends at 7:55pm. There are four teachers in the school and we all teach 4 classes a day. Not too bad. Coming in without any prior training with what and how I should be teaching was frustrating for my first week, but the Lord gave me creative ideas to keep the classes interesting. I'm sure things will feel better once I have a better grasp of how I want to approach teaching the students.  Also, I love the students! They are a ball of energy, but the funny thing is that they remind me of students in the USA. I can't wait to see how God will use me to be a blessing in their lives.

City 7 Mall and Lotte Mart
Outside of school I've done a little bit of exploring. So far I've just been around my neighborhood because I've been tired from jet lag. Also, you kind of have to psych yourself up to venture into a world where you can't really communicate with others and things are so different. In my neighborhood there are small convenience stores every few blocks. There's also a park with a soccer field (made of sand instead of grass) and exercise equipment. I probably won't use the equipment because I'm kind of self-conscious about working out in front of a ton of people (I prefer small gyms), but I do plan to walk around the outdoor track like I've seen many people doing. I've also explored a little of City 7 Mall, the location of my school. This mall is really nice. Lot's of name brand stores and Western food places like McDonald, KFC, Duncan Donuts, Baskin Robbins, and Starbucks (no I haven't been into the Starbucks yet). There is also a large department store called Lotte Mart. Cara and I learned about Lotte mart when we were researching about South Korea. It's a huge department store chain that is found all over South Korea. They have groceries, clothing, electronics, etc. and their own fast food counter. My first shopping experience was pretty nice. I went armed with a shopping list with the items written in both English and Korean (SO HELPFUL!). Thank you Google Translate. I've been to the Asian stores in Cleveland numerous times so I wasn't really surprised to see shelves of seaweed, noodles, and soy sauce. Nor did the unique fruits and vegetables surprise me. I did kind of avoid the fish section because I have no idea how to skin or debone a whole fish. Which was mostly what was being sold. The checkout counter was kind of confusing because the checkout person asked me a question and I had no idea what she was saying. But after some odd gestures I figured out she was asking me if I wanted any bags (bags cost money). I asked for two in English (I completely forgot that I knew how to say "two please" in Korean) and then I was able to pay for my groceries.

My neighborhood

More of my neighborhood on the walk to work.

Weird statues at the entrance to City 7 Mall.

 

I tried some Bibimbap in the food court of the mall. Delicious!

 

Mall food court.

 

I found a piece of New Zealand at Lotte Mart. :) These are NZ golden kiwi's.

Doh-ri-to-suh. Barbeque Rib flavored?

 

Nighttime near City 7 Mall

 

Apartment Life and Church
I washed my clothes and used the rice cooker for the first time on Saturday. I knew the washing machine would be a big project since it was covered in buttons with writing all in Korean. No worries, I knew where to look for help - Youtube and Google. Many foreign teachers in Korea were kind enough to post instructional videos about all of the buttons and how to use the washing machine. The two most helpful sights for me were http://www.korea4expats.com/article-washer-dryer-korean-english.html and http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=jR6qisg1FJo. Check them out if you're curious. When my washer was finished it played a fun song for 30 seconds. Korea is so cute. I also went online and found an instruction manual for my rice cooker in English so I was able to make rice for the first time too. Yay! I've been rearranging my apartment so when I get it properly set up I'll do a video and some pictures. In the mean time, enjoy this fun video I made while in my apartment.

Saturday I also received a electric bill attached to my door. It was only $8 for the month of August. Wow! I brought my bill to Esther (one of my school directors) and she said she would handle it since it was from the previous month. Nice! On Sunday I went to church for the first time. It's an English speaking International Church that my directors attend. It was pretty cool. For the first time since arriving in South Korea I encountered ethnic diversity. The church is called Hanbit International Christian Fellowship. The music was led by a South African worship leader. We sang many familiar songs such as Breathe, I Will Rise, God of Wonders, and I Could Sing of Your Love Forever. (Hey, I was the Worship Leader at my church so I notice things like music in the church service.) A missionary from Sierra Leone preached since the church is looking for a full-time pastor. I met people from Canada, South Africa, Germany, USA, and of course Korea. I also signed up to go on a trip to historical Gyeongju in a few of weeks. Yay, field trip! I was also able to talk to some other English teachers just about adjusting to life here in Changwon. One teacher, Andrew, told me I could email him anytime if I have any questions. I must say the expat community is really very helpful here in Changwon. I'm so glad that I met other Christians here in South Korea. Church today reminded me that I am part of a bigger global family and that the Lord is working EVERYWHERE. I knew that but it's nice to see it first hand in another country.

That's it for now. More updates to come.

My cute bus card. I just load it up with cash and then swipe it when I get on the bus. It's that simple....in theory.

Psalm 73:28

Psalm 73:28 ~ But as for me, how good it is to be near God!  I have made the Sovereign Lord my shelter, and I will tell everyone about the wonderful things you do.


This was a verse that I read a few days ago.  I believe that God spoke to me through this scripture and I just have to tell everyone of the wonderful things that He has recently done in my life. So, I'm moving to South Korea. This has been almost a year long process of preparation since the Lord first whispered the words into my heart to this moment, my final weeks here in the USA.  Why am I doing something so crazy?!  I don't speak the language, the culture is very different from western culture, and I'm moving really far away from home.  I don't know.  My heart yearns to travel to other cultures and get to know people in their own familiar setting. I want to be the foreigner who is placed in an uncomfortable and daunting situation. Granted, everyday I step outside my door I am in some ways a foreigner as I interact with unbelievers. My culture, my home, is in Jesus Christ.  I don't fit in with the majority of my fellow American citizens. Maybe this realization has been one of many that the Lord has shown me to mold my heart into one that is willing to let go of the familiar and follow Him to the unknown.

O.K. It's time to dig into the goodness of God. So I'm moving to South Korea to teach English as a Second or Foreign Language. I originally wanted to move overseas to work but teaching English was not at the top of my list. I didn't know what options were out there for working overseas so I decided to do a Google search. Yup, good 'ol Google. You can find so much on the Internet. Most of the jobs that came up were either medical jobs (I'm unqualified), tourism jobs (hmm, watching other people having fun travelling? No thanks), or ESL teaching jobs (am I unqualified?).  With some prompting from my sister I decided to at least look into this option. We learned that you don't necessarily need a teaching degree but TEFL  (Teach English as a Foreign Language) certification would be a good idea. So I signed up to this TEFL email list to get a free PDF info book about teaching overseas. The book wouldn't come up so I thought, "Oh well." and promptly forgot about my search in the busyness of life. 

Fast forward to a couple months later. I was emptying out my Spam folder when I came across an email from the TEFL website that sparked my interest. They had been sending me emails constantly and I just ignored them since they were going directly to my Spam folder. The email spoke about a guy who worked for a year in a pizza factory so that he could save up money to take a TEFL course and then travel overseas to teach. The article itself wasn't that amazing, but I started reading other stories, including testimonies about teaching, and learned that TEFL teaching isn't like ordinary English teaching. There's A LOT of creativity involved. Creativity that someone with an acting background such as mine could really enjoy. And so began my searching and praying about teaching ESL overseas. I knew I would teach in an Asian country. I just needed to decide which one. Pretty quickly I settled on either South Korea or Japan.  Really, I just happened to mention to a coworker that I was thinking about teaching overseas and he mentioned that he had once pursued the possibility of teaching in Japan and that he had a friend who had taught in South Korea. Hmm. I did some research and decided that South Korea was where I wanted to go. (This was partly influenced by the fact that I had a South Korean friend who was there already.)

Next, began the crazy process of deciding where I wanted to teach and when I wanted to go. Do I teach in a hagwon (private school) or a public school? Do I want to live in the Seoul, the largest city, or a smaller city? Should I leave in 6 months or a year? All of these questions I brought before the Lord. I'd like to say He made the answers extremely clear, but the reality is that He walked me step by step through the process revealing only enough to get me to take the next step. I'm thankful that I was studying the book of Acts in my BSF Bible study at the time because there were moments when I felt like Paul as he was guided by the Holy Spirit to go or don't go to certain areas to share the gospel. Actually, the Lord used my study in this book to confirm His call for me to go. I can remember reading about Paul's decision to to go to an unfamiliar land with unfamiliar people and share the gospel. The Lord was asking me if I was also willing to follow Him to an unknown land and an unfamiliar people. The book of Acts also taught me to wait for the Lord to lead me and trust Him even when things look uncertain or confusing.

So let me share with you the goodness of God in how He lead me to the city of Changwon. I decided that I didn't want to move to Seoul - too big and too popular! The cities on my list were the next largest cities in South Korea - Busan, Incheon, Daegu, Daejeon, and Gwangju. My sister (who is also moving to Korea to teach English) found some cool information about Daejeon, so we settled on applying to work there as a first choice. Well, when we applied for the EPIK public school program we were told you no longer had a choice about which city you wanted to live in, you would be put wherever they decided to place you. Boo! Alright, if the Lord wanted us in Daejeon we would be placed there, if He wanted us somewhere else then we'd be place in that city. Well, we didn't get into EPIK. We then decided we would try to get into the public school by applying directly to the Ministry of Education (MOE) in individual cities.  We weren't able to apply for Daejeon schools so we decided maybe we should go for Korea's second largest city, Busan. Through a recruiter (who later turned out to be not that great) we applied with the Busan MOE. We didn't get into their schools either but we did learn about an interesting city called Changwon, which was located 40 minutes away from Busan. After dumping our recruiter we started to search on our own for jobs at private Schools all over South Korea. There were many jobs advertising for Changwon positions. One in particular preferred to have a teacher who was a Christian. I applied, interviewed, and eventually obtained a position with CNS Academy. The leaders are Christians, which is an extra blessing because I didn't even ask the Lord for this, and one of them even leads the music worship at his church, which is what I do at my church. Cool!

Writing this makes it sound so simple, but the process was long and bathed in a lot of prayer and even fasting. There were a lot of frustrating moments when I cried out to the Lord "Why do I have to go through this!?" And there were a lot of verses that He used to comfort me and encourage me to trust Him.  Hebrews 10:35-36 ~ So do not throw away this confident trust in the Lord. Remember the great reward it brings you!  Patient endurance is what you need now, so that you will continue to do God’s will. Then you will receive all that he has promised. I don't know what South Korea holds in store for me but I know that the Lord will be with me every step of the way. There are no coincidences in His plans. He has me going there for a reason. My sister will eventually join me in Changwon. She is currently searching for a position but now she knows which city to focus on. I'm confident that the Lord will bring just the right position for her.  He did it before and He'll do it again. And when He does I can't wait to share about the wonderful things He's doing in her life.

First and Last post of 2011

Hahahaha!

So I visited my blog a few days ago and realized that I hadn't written anything since Christmastime of 2010. Aah, so funny. Life still goes on. I guess my heart wasn't into writing anything in a whole year. But so much did happen!

Highlights:

At Easter time I took what I learned in New Zealand and finally brought it to my church. We did a Special Good Friday Service that involved a walk through artistic representations of the last hours of Jesus on earth. Similar to Stations of the Cross this one was called "Reflections of the Cross." It was a really cool way to meditate on what Jesus did for us on the cross through the eyes of art.

In the Summer my family joined a Community Garden to try our hand at gardening. This was the first year of the community garden. While I learned a lot about what veggies look like fresh out of the soil, the experience was kind of frustrating. The soil wasn't good, which caused our crops to barely grow, and deer took care of any crops that managed to get past the poor soil barrier. The garden was a failure. Oh well. I thing I understand now the curse placed on Adam - "the ground is cursed because of you. All your life you will struggle to scratch a living from it. It will grow thorns and thistles for you, though you will eat of its grains. By the sweat of your brow will you have food to eat." ~ Genesis 3:17-19

Late summer I performed in Show Boat with Mercury Summerstock Theater. It was such a fun experience. I was really missing acting on stage and this was just the pick me up I needed. Another cool thing was that we were the last show to perform in the Cleveland Playhouse Building before they moved downtown. Before one of the performances a few cast members and I did our own self-guided tour of the all of the theaters in the building.

In the Fall I took on two leadership roles. I became a Group Discussion Leader for BSF and I took over the position of Worship Coordinator at Cedar Hill. Whew! Both demand a lot of my time and my courage so I won't be doing any more plays anytime soon. I definitely am constantly on my knees seeking God's help with what to do in these ministries and the decisions I make.

Also, this Fall I visited my family in South Carolina, including my two brand new twin nephews! They are fraternal twins - Quentin and Nathan (or Q-ball and NaDaddy as I like to call them). I loved seeing them and seeing the change in their big brother Alex - he's such a cheeky kid. Aww, I love them so much! Speaking of nephews, my other nephew, Julius (or Juju), had a baby dedication at his church. I'm so proud of my little brother, Kenan, and sister, Mykka, for declaring before their church, family, and God that they will seek to raise their son in the way of the Lord.

Thanksgiving we had a huge amount of people over (14 total). It was so much fun. Conversely, Christmas was very relaxed. Just me, Cara, and my Mom. We still celebrated with traditional holiday home-cooking.

Currently I am learning the Korean language in preparation for moving to Korea next year. Yup! I'm planning to go teach English as a Second Language in a foreign country. My sister's coming with me too. Haha. January we plan to begin the application process, then we'll take an online TEFL course, and then, Lord willing, we'll be off to Korea in August. So exciting. So scary.

Anyway, that's it for now. More to come in 2012. Happy New Year! Anyeongigasaeyo!

Christmastime is Here!

Well, this is most likely my last blog for 2010. (Maybe not.) This is the first time in about a month that I've been able to relax and not think about all the rehearsals or performances that I have to work on and attend. Why is Christmastime so busy? Why do I constantly overbook myself during the month of December? Every year I have great ambitions about the amount of cookies I'm gonna bake, the amount of programs I'm gonna be a part of, the amount of shopping I'm gonna do, the amount of Christmas parties I'm gonna attend, etc. But do I ever factor in rest? Or spending honest, quiet time with God?

This year I've done a lot of online shopping. Mainly because I no longer have a working car. On Saturday I bought a bunch of gifts for family online and amazingly they arrived today. I've wrapped nearly all of them and as I sit back and reflect on my gift buying I suddenly realize that I am done Christmas shopping. When did this happen? How did this happen? See, I've been too busy to pay attention to making a list and checking it twice. But now I'm finished.

My family and I have also managed to make three batches of cookies in the past couple of weeks and we're planning on making another two batches by Christmas. I love cookie baking and decorating, but this year I feel like it was another chore that needed to be completed. These next two batches we make I'm planning on having fun when I make them. After all, Christmas IS almost here.

A highlight of this season has been the opportunity to watch Christmas movies with my sister and Mom. I love watching holiday movies. They're just so fun and special because we usually only see them at Christmastime. We've already watched A Christmas Story and It's a Wonderful Life (I love that movie), and tonight we're watching A Christmas Carol. (Sigh) Christmas movies are so sweet!

Finally, Jesus, He's what this season is all about. "Oh tidings of comfort and joy!" Life isn't really joyful without Him. Christmas wouldn't really be special without knowing that God came down to earth as a little baby because He loved me so much that He wanted to rescue me. Rescue me from the pain and terror of suffering a horrible fate. All because I sin. What an amazing birth He had. Tons of Angels sang to announce his birth, people from all over the town of Bethlehem came to see him, a bright star appeared and guided wealthy wisemen for over a year to his doorstep. Only God could make this happen. Only the Savior could have such an amazing birthday.

I love You Lord and I love Christmastime!

On Headphones, Cellphones, and Car Repairs

So I was sitting at the bus stop the other day and some random realizations came to me. If you've ever had to wait at a bus stop, especially for more than 20 minutes, you'll find that you have a lot of time to think about random stuff. Why was I waiting for a bus when I have a car to get me around everywhere? Well, my car was sick. I had just dropped it off at my mechanic's and was forced to wait for a bus to take me home.

Car Repairs. Since we're on the topic of my car, let me share how amazing God is. A couple days ago my car started randomly stalling out. Twice it cut off completely on me while I was at a stoplight. This sent me into a panic. My first reaction: "Lord I don't have money for this!" This would be my theme for the rest of the repairs experience. So since I didn't have much cash (actually that's not true, I did just get paid but I had other plans for that money and apparently my plans didn't match up with the Lord's) I told the Lord that the car was His and that it was up to Him to provide the money or miracle that would fix the car, keeping in mind that I did want to tithe to Him out of this paycheck that I'd just received. I thought I was prepared for any answer He would give to this somewhat cheeky prayer but I was still surprised when the answer finally came. It turned out that the repairs were fairly minor; it just took some digging around to find the problem. I actually received my car back the same day and the cost was exactly enough take my whole paycheck except the amount that I wanted to give as a tithe. Before you freak out about how expensive the repair was keep in mind that I work part-time at Starbucks and this last paycheck I received was the smallest I've received in months. The repair wasn't really that much at all. But the cool thing is that I can still tithe. I think the Lord is waiting to see if I'll actually stay faithful to Him about that money that I've set aside for Him. He's promised me that He'll provide for all my needs and the money is ultimately His anyway so I'll definitely give it back to Him.

Alright, back to bus stop musings.

Cellphones. I've decided that cellphones are a great way for people to disconnect with each other. I knew this anyway, but at the bus stop I had a longer time to dwell on this. Between texting, Internet surfing , playing games, watching videos, etc, we as humans have a variety of excuses to avoid interacting with others around us. And they all can be carried in the palm of your hand. Notice I didn't include talking on the phone because in that situation you are actually connecting with someone. How often do we pull out our phones at a restaurant to "check" our email when we're not sure of what to talk about with the person across the table or even next to us. Even leaving the cellphone on the table during the whole meal sends a subconscious message that says, "I'm cool with talking with you right now but the next text that comes in is way more important than our conversation." Ouch! Or how about when we find ourselves in a new situation like at a get together where most of the people are new faces to us? It's too uncomfortable to actually start a conversation with someone new so we sit down, pull out our phone, and begin texting or surfing the net to look busy. Unfortunately this type of behavior has two negative results: 1) we don't develop the skill of connecting with new people so that it becomes easier with each new situation 2) that new person across the room who thought about saying "hi" to you decides not to because you look "preoccupied." Don't get me wrong. I love cellphones and all that you can do on them but it's really sad to observe this behavior EVERYWHERE. A device that claims to connect people all over the world is slowly disconnecting people in the same room.

Headphones. Ok. Lest you think I'm trying to act like I don't have this problem, let me tell you about my device of disconnection. My Mp3 player. I love music. I love listening to it everywhere I go. And I love consciously ignoring the people around me by throwing on my headphones. I do it at home, on my breaks at my job, when I'm feeling unsocial at church, and at the bus stop. Now I'm not saying that every time I listen to my headphones I'm trying to disconnect with the world around me. I do just LOVE listening to music. Just as those on their cellphones aren't always trying to escape interacting with the people around them; they're actually just having fun playing around on their phones. But, I know the times when I'm consciously ignoring others in favor of my music. God has really begun to convict me about doing this. I've had to fight the urge to put on my headphones when I'm sitting around at a Praise Team practice waiting for the instruments to finish their section of practice. The Lord is showing me that when I make the decision to keep the headphones off and talk with the other vocalists around me I can have some good conversations. Even when I'm on my break at work, God is showing me that when a coworker comes into the back and wants to talk I should not be hesitant to take off the headphones and just talk.

Which leads me to the bus stop. Often no one wants to talk at a bus stop so we all pull out our cellphones or our headphones and get absorbed in our own world. Well, I was doing this very thing when a older lady walked up to me with a question about the bus. I pulled one earbud out of my ear to listen to her and then answer her question. See, I didn't fully want to give up my means of ignoring her and the rest of the world. Well, she had other questions so I turned off my player completely and engaged in the conversation. When all questions were answered I immediately put on the headphones again and turned away from her. A few minutes later I had this nagging feeling that I should talk to her some more instead of listening to my music. I fought to ignore this nagging and it temporarily worked. (This was about the time all my musings about cellphones and headphones popped up.) I was really struggling with the issue of my ignoring her when finally I snatched off my headphones and asked her where she was headed. Our conversation lead to her discovering that the bus was going to come too late for her to make the class she was trying to get to. In the end she decided to head back home.

Moral of the Story: Sometimes it is better to turn off the headphones, put away the phone, and just be a friendly person to a world that so desperately needs a little kindness.

Check out this song by Jars of Clay that captures a little of this theme.

Nephews

So things have been pretty exciting in the land of Aunthood. I've been able to speak with my nephew Alex over skype more than ever before, and I now have a brand new nephew, Julius Kenan Gabriel, who was recently born on Halloween. I never knew that it could be so fun and so wonderful to be an Aunt!!!

ALEX

My nephew Alex is so fun to talk to. He's at that age where he's talking up a storm and uninhibited in his words and actions. It's hilarious. Recently I was talking with my sister on Skype when Alex decided he had to go to the potty. While he was in the potty my sister and I started talking about 'sister stuff' when suddenly I hear this loud singing. It was Alex, singing at the top of his lungs some silly song. This was shortly followed by fire engine imitations and nonsense speech. 20 minutes later I made the comment, "Is Alex STILL in the bathroom." My sister says, "Yup, He takes his good 'ol time." Haha! This is definitely a kid who's gonna grow up reading novels while on the John.

I love when I call and Alex has just gotten in trouble. He makes this face that's so dejected, it makes me want to laugh. Usually, when this happens he's quiet until the chance to talk with his Auntie in Ohio is too irresistible, then he's back to being a chatterbox. Sometimes when we speak he will randomly sing me a song. (He's a really good singer and he's only 3 yrs old!) Sometimes I sing with him. Other times he'll ask me a question like "When are you coming to MY house?" or "Are you going to be a rockstar for Halloween like Cara?" My favorite time talking with Him was when he started speaking to me with nonsense words. My sister told me he does that sometimes. I just laughed and started speaking back to him with my own nonsense language. Wow, do I love kids. They allow you to act silly without it being awkward.

My nephew is also a real goofball (I think he gets it from his Dad). At any given moment he'll make a random silly face. Sometimes when he does that I'll make a silly face back at him. A couple times he's tried to wear my sisters hair as a wig. He'll put his head next to her and start piling her long curly hair on top of his head. So silly.

A lot of times when I call my sister on Skype it's lunch time so we end up having lunch together over the computer. I'll ask Alex what he's eating and then ask if I can have some of his sandwich or carrots, etc. He usually says I can't because I'm in Ohio, but my sister will hold out her lunch to me and say, "Here have some." This then inspires Alex to offer me some of his lunch. Once we actually pretended to send the food through the computer screen.

Finally, Alex is so loving. Sometimes he kisses my face on the computer screen or pokes my nose (my sister encouraged that one). I'm so touched by his love that I pretend to kiss him on the camera or blow him a kiss. We also pretend to hug each other. I love my little hobbity nephew!

JULIUS

What can I say about my new nephew who was born today? I don't know. I've greatly looked forward to his coming and now he's here. I can't wait to have fun with him. To be silly with him. To show love to him. Welcome to the world Julius!

Holy Spirit High

Last Sunday I was talking with my sister over the phone when she said to me, "What's wrong with you? You're so chipper tonight." My reply, "I'm on a Holy Spirit High!" So what happened last Sunday to inspire these words and this apparent energetic joy? I'll tell you.

Battleground Imagery
Last Sunday my pastor started a new sermon series called Battleground: How to avoid becoming a casualty of war. What war? Spiritual war. For the next few weeks we will be looking at the end of the book of Ephesians and learning what God has to says about spiritual warfare, the unseen world of angels and demons, and His provision for battle and ultimate victory. Last Sunday the sermon was Holy Spirit inspired and eye opening, and the thing that visually added to the message was the set of a battleground on the stage . This set was designed and created by myself and a friend in the church. I cannot express how much fun I had putting together this set (even despite problems and setbacks). Drama and all things drama related are in my blood and I just loved being able to use my passion to compliment what God was doing in the Worship Service.

Lunch at an Oasis
The young adult gathering at my church is called Oasis. Every Sunday we have lunch and a discussion about the Lord and His word after Morning Service. Last Sunday there were only 5 of us able to attend so we just had lunch and hung out. I really enjoyed just talking and getting to know friends better. We didn't even have a profound discussion or anything but were just able to share our lives. That hasn't happened a lot for me with the young adults in my church, and it's been a prayer of mine to connect more with them. I felt like this was a glimpse for me of the Lord working to answer this prayer.

Change of Mind, Change of Heart
Evening 5:42 Service was great! I loved singing and worshipping. I loved the challenging message. I loved our time of prayer. We prayed that we as a church would allow God to change our hearts and our minds about traditions and familiarities so that we could better minister to those who were so different from us and different from what was comfortable to us. Amen.

Prayer Help
God has been speaking to my heart about seeking a prayer partner who would pray with me every week. Ever since I had a conversation with a friend in my church who said he was doing that very thing it's been on my mind. I just didn't know who I should ask. Then, last week, the Lord brought to mind a woman who I respect for her wisdom and godly heart, and who has encouraged me in a lot of ways. So I asked her if we could begin praying together once a week. She said yes. Yay! And what do you know, the Lord is really challenging my commitment with this because the only time we could agree to meet was on Saturday mornings at 7am. Yikes! (I am NOT a morning person.) So we're going to start praying this week and I'm glad.

With a Cherry on Top
Well I told my sister about all the great things that happened throughout the day that culminated in me having a Holy Spirit High. Then I told her that talking with her was like the cherry on top of the ice cream sundae that was my day. She laughed at my cheesy analogy. I really miss her and love talking with her. What am I gonna do when we actual no longer live together permanently?


So today, almost a week later, I no longer have that Holy Spirit High, but I still smile when I think about all that happened last Sunday. God is Good. :)

Thus Far

So I'm quickly writing a blog right before I head off to work. Yes, I'm still at Starbucks. It's been a rollercoaster ride with that job. But, the Lord is good so I'll be obedient and stick with it.

Been thinking a lot about God and His interaction in my life. Nothing is how I thought it would be and I'm beginning to realize...that's good. God definitely knows me better than I do and it's wierd to see how that plays out. My heart, mind, attitudes, feelings, desires, and motivations have changed a lot from when I first became a Christian, and yet I'm still me. I can't even pinpoint a defining moment of change, it's all been gradual with some moments standing out more than others. I know I'm being vague but that's kind of how it feels.

Anyway, just wanted to share that। Maybe my next blog will be a little more substantial.

Cheers!

Stuff

I'm tired of a lot of things in life. My job, Cleveland, America.
Not tired of Jesus though. He's the only reason why I can make it through everything else.

There's a lot I can write about what's going on in my life but I guess I'm tired of complaining too.

This month of February has been a loooong one. Let's focus on the good highlights of it.

The Cedarville "One Voice" Gospel Choir came to sing at my church. I was able to house one of the singers and it was an awesome blessing. Felicia was pleasure to talk with and the Choir was like fresh water in my troubled soul.

Bible Study Fellowship (BSF). Wow! I am learning so much about the character and personality of Jesus, God the Father, and The Holy Spirit. Not a week goes by that I am not floored by some new insight the Lord is sharing with me. I love digging deep into God's Word.

Women's Growth group has improved by leaps and bounds. The book of Romans is starting to become more alive to me. I previously suffered a blah period with this book, which is weird because I've studied this book three times previously and loved each time . (Including when I did it with BSF.) I think for me the book of Romans is meant to be studied more deeply instead of surfacy. There are a lot of hard hitting truths Paul speaks about that are great to dissect and mull over.

Finally, family has always been good to be around. My sister and mother provide immense comfort and encouragement when days are hard. They are free with their laughter and wise in their advice. We have great conversations that often naturally turn to God and spiritual matters. My father is a sweet blessing because I know he loves me and he is not afraid to show it. My grandparents also surround me with love. I'm glad that they desire to spend time with me and are actually disappointed when it doesn't happen. My brothers, while busy with their families and lives are always there to remind me of the fun times we've had as youth (even in the midst of hardship) and that we can still continue to have fun together.

There. I'm already feeling better.

Concerts with a Message

A couple days ago I went to a nationwide traveling Christian music concert called WinterJam. It was over 4 hours of 8 bands performing an intense night of music. (And all for only $10.)

Anyone who knows me well, knows that I love music. The melodies, the beats, the lyrics, they all resonate in my heart. I love dancing, jumping, raising my hands, pumping my fists, singing, shouting, the whole whirlwind of emotions.

There's some great music out there. Secular and Christian. But let me take the time to speak up for music made by Christians (the ones striving to be like Christ). No foul language. Also, no hopeless, dispairing, destructive, prideful, and offensive messages. I don't have to worry about if a song will refer to women in a number of derogatory terms. Or if an artist will promote themselves as the greatest and most impressive person in the WORLD!! I don't have to fear that the music will encourage a number of destructive behaviors like suicide, murder, greed, sexual immorality, drunkeness, or drugs. I don't even have to worry that the women (or men) will come out dressed in next to nothing. The messages in christian music are ones of hope and love. They're warnings against doing the things that displease God and ultimately cause a miserable life and an eternity of suffering. They encourage women and men, telling them they are special in God's eyes.

"Set Apart This Dream" by Flyleaf

Close your eyes little girl
You're a princess now
You own this world
Twirling in your twirly dress
You're the loveliest far above the rest

You build your castles in the skies
Stars reflecting off your eyes
And angels sing on silver clouds
And no one cries, screams, or shouts'

Close your eyes pretty girl
Cause its easier when you brace yourself
Set your thoughts on a world far off
Where we only cry from joy

Oh set apart this dream
Oh set apart this dream
Oh set apart this dream
For me

Oh lovely and beautiful
Precious and priceless
You're so much more than you know
Heart of the purest gold
Pure clean and white as snow
Clothed in such splendor
Oh what a beauty for me.

Oh set apart this dream
Oh set apart this dream
Oh set apart this dream
For me

Many songs point to Jesus and his offer of salvation from all the 'mess' of this world. And to think, all of this positivity is accompanied by the same melodies, beats, and rhythms as music made by secular artists.



"Treasure" by Flyleaf
(For you are a holy people, who belong to the Lord your God. Of all the people on earth, the Lord your God has chosen you to be his own special treasure. ~ Deuteronomy 7:6)

Can I tell you a story as we dance while the sun starts to bleed
Song of songs love is calling daughter wake up from your sleep
Refined I’ll become the most dazzling precious treasure
I’ll be treasured over all the earth

Bearing the gift of a new heart
Patience ablaze I’m slowly burning

Refined I'll become the most dazzling precious treasure
I'll be treasured over all the earth

I am in awe and in shock
I’m in love and given away
I’m reserved with these words…

Can I tell you a story as we dance while the sun starts to bleed
Trees rejoice with the wind here Hallelujah, Yeshua

Tonight I’ve become the most dazzling precious treasure
I am treasured over all the earth

Just look at what he’s done
How He’s laying down his life
Take this life oh most dazzling precious treasure

Tonight I’ve become the most dazzling precious treasure
I am treasure over all the earth.

So yeah, I had a truly wonderful time at WinterJam

Happy New Year!

It's 2010!!!

Can't wait to see what this year holds.
I always like when something new comes about.
I look forward to the unraveling of God's plan in my life for this year...

The End of 2009

It's here. The end of 2009. I think a lot if people would say this has been a hard year. I disagree. It's been a good year of adjusting to changes. Changes in how we spend our money. Changes in our dependence on God rather than ourselves to make it through hardships (I guess that only applies to those who know the Living God, Jesus). Changes in our attitude about the power and supposed invincibility of our country the United States of America. OK, maybe this all sounds harsh, but change is good.

As I think about the end of 2009 I can't help but think about the end of a decade. We're going into the two digits, 2010. This is the first decade that I've been an adult for the entire decade and wow has a lot happened!

I've attended college and earned a bachelor's degree in theater and music. I've worked as a costume shop seamstress, waitress, church secretary, receptionist, foreign government customer service representative, and coffee barista. I've travelled to Germany, South Africa, and New Zealand. I've lived and worked a year overseas. I've grown in my faith and trust in the Lord an incredible amount. I've seen a major terrorist attack on the US, an almost decade long war, a terrible natural disaster in the city of New Orleans and a Tsunami overseas, a major global economic crisis, and the election of the first African American President in the US. I've witnessed the growing popularity of DVD's, cell phones, laptops, flat screen TVs, Blu-ray, myspace, facebook, twitter, youtube, texting, online music downloading, and online TV watching. I've watched two brothers get married and one nephew come into the world. I've grieved through the death of a grandfather. I've laughed, cried, and worshipped with three wonderful churches; they've been and still are my christian family.

I've shared my testimony and the gospel with so many people in the US and around the world, it blows my mind to think about it.

Thank you Lord. Only because of You can I say 2009 has been a great year. Only because of You can I say the 2000's have been a great decade. And only because of You can I confidently say that no matter what happens, I will be able to call my future years and decades on this earth great.

Thanksgiving is Almost Here

My absolutely favorite holiday is Thanksgiving and it will be here in a little less than two weeks. Hooray!! I love everything about Thanksgiving. The holiday meal extravaganza with turkey, cranberries, pumpkin pie, etc., the cooking of the holiday meal extravaganza, the large family and friend gathering, the giving of thanks to the Lord for all He has provided, the Thanksgiving Day parade, the mandatory holiday for most jobs (not including Starbucks, grrr!), the beginning of nonstop festive cheer until New Year's Day. I love it all!

These next couple of weeks are going to be active ones. Good.

Apples, Jelly, Tombs, and the end of Autumn

Autumn.
Don't you just love that word? Instead of Fall I prefer the term Autumn. The word sounds beautiful and ugly at the same time. That's pretty much how I would also describe the season. The change in the tree leaves are beautiful at first, but then they fall to the ground and turn brown. Yuck! The weather starts as a nice breezy 65 degrees and then it gets cold, rainy, and grey. Yuck!

So this Autumn I thought I'd try something new. A few new things actually.

First, I went to an apple farm. Now before you assume the wrong farm (big, commercialized Patterson's Apple Farm) let me enlighten you. Cara and I specifically searched for an apple farm in the area that was not Patterson so that we could avoid the masses of people. Everyone goes to Patterson's. Great. What else is there? Well after some online searching and suggestions from a coworker we discovered Eddy's Apple Farm. Perfect! Ironically, it's right down the street from Patterson's. This farm was great. For just a few extra minutes of walking you could bypass the area where most people were apple picking and enter a field full of trees overflowing with a variety of gorgeous, plump apples. There were so many apples and varieties that Cara and I didn't know where to begin. In the end we picked about an average of two apples per variety. Cortland, Melrose, Jonathon, Jonagold, Wine, Golden delicious, Fuji, and the list goes on. I had a ton of fun. This was the first time I'd ever picked an apple straight off an apple tree. They looked so plump and healthy. How can I ever go back to just getting apples from a grocery store. Apples are much more attractive when you pull them straight off of the tree. We plan to make applesauce and apple cobbler with the apples we picked.

Second, while at Eddy's Apple Farm we discovered another treat. Concord grapes! Wow, I've definitely never picked grapes before. So off we went to the grape vines. They were beautiful. Golden leaves with dark bluish/purple grape clusters hanging from the vines. We picked a lot determined to make them into grape jelly. Once home we acquired all the necessary ingredients and utensils for making jelly (basically pectin, cheesecloth, and jars). Then we set about extracting the juice from the grapes. A process which left my hands slightly purple when I tried to squeeze as much juice as possible through the cheesecloth. Next time I'll wear gloves. Then we added the pectin and tons of sugar to the cooked and boiling juice. I found a great recipe that explained step by step with pictures how to make and jar the jelly. It also gave great tips for making the jelly thick enough and easily processing the jars. Cara and I had a great time jelly making and ended up with 4 1/2 jars of jelly. Yum!


Finally, on a mildly warm day last week, I went on a picnic to the metroparks with my sister and two new friends from church, Aubree and Ben. Lunch was fun as we sat at a picnic table eating ham & turkey sandwiches and discussing a variety of grown up, intellectual things like Harry Potter and the Lord of the Rings. I'm sure if we'd talked long enough we would have made it to the latest X-men cartoon Cara and I had recently watched online. Ah, I love hanging out with friends. Afterwards we drove to Lakeview Cemetery to view the variety of wealthy grave stones. Cara wasn't too excited about this, but hey, it's the perfect thing to do around Halloween right? We discovered that president Garfield was buried in the cemetery so we went to see his crypt/monument. It was pretty extensive inside complete with stained glass images of different people who represented something I didn't understand and a huge marble statue of president Garfield. We were told that his body was downstairs so down we went. Whoa! Who knew that the coffin was just there on display. I thought it'd be locked in a room where all you see is the door. But no, there were bars so you couldn't touch the coffin but there it was, including the coffin of his wife and the ashes of his daughter and her husband. Weird. What is our obsession with preserving and glorifying a dead body? Getting out of the crypt we went to the roof of the monument and saw an amazing view of the city with a sea of multicolored trees in front of it. It was so peaceful because you couldn't see the cars and people moving below the trees. Wow, what a view!

And now that the beautiful part of Autumn is ending I'm glad I made the most of it. On to November.

I'm Still Here

Yup.
That was to let you know I haven't given up blogging, I just never really feel up to writing. This is what I do to myself. When life isn't going the way I want it to go I either complain about it in a blog or don't write. I'm feeling kind of convicted about complaining so thus no writing. But I thought I should say something. So...

Work is pretty much the same, too little pay and too early shifts. I work an average of 3 to 4 openings a week. Blah. In the summer I thought it was a temporary thing that I would have to endure for a little while but now that it's October I've pretty much resigned myself to the fact that the majority of the time I work I'll be half asleep. But those who trust in the Lord will find new strength....They will walk and not faint. ~ Isaiah 40:31

Theater? Nothing. Done a few auditions. That's about it. I gotta get out of Cleveland.

Music? I've gone to quite a few concerts. Family Force Five, All Left Out, Red, Mutemath, Jars of Clay. Those experiences were fabulous! I really love dancing and singing and rocking out. There may be one more in the future. We'll see.

God? The LORD is good, a refuge in times of trouble. He cares for those who trust in him. ~ Nahum 1:7 I'm really trying hard to trust in Him. Today I learned that I am like Gideon. He questioned the Lord's actions and presence in his life right to His face, he made excuses for why he was ill equipped to obey the Lord's command, he asked the Lord to prove He was who He said He was, he questioned if the Lord would truly do what He said He would do...multiple times. Just like me. But the comforting thing is despite all these character flaws and lack of faith God chose Gideon to be a part of His miraculous work. The same goes for me. It's not about me but about what Jesus will do through me. It's about grace and love. Right now I'm involved in two Bible Studies. One group is studying the book of Romans and the other the Book of John. I love them. I'm learning a lot about the character of Jesus. I'm also learning a lot about myself. This is good. It's challenging me and helping me to grow as a christian. It's also helping me to spend that much needed time with the Lord.

So...I'm glad I wrote something today.

Why is it things never turn out exactly how you expect them to?

It's been over a year since I've returned home from New Zealand. (I still miss it.) I'm still in Cleveland, not in any plays, and working a job where I make barely above minimum wage. As summer comes to an end I find it harder to be patient with where the Lord has placed me in life right now. There's so much I wish I could change, but I can't. I wish I could change attitudes about the definition of success in my country. It's hard to fight against that attitude. I wish I could get out of Cleveland. That desire seems simple until I realize I don't make enough to pay bills and save up for a move like that. I wish a good paying job didn't often mean working in a office or other field that doesn't involve artistic creativity. I wish all people knew the freedom and peace that comes with knowing Jesus as their Savior. Because while I might not exactly be enthusiastic about where my life is right now I know that the Lord has my best in mind as He directs my life.

What's up right now? There is a new Pastor at my church and I'm super excited about that. Pastor Greene is just the man we need for this point in time. May we become a body of believers that are even more effective in reaching out to the community with the love of Christ.

I've had quite a few friends get married this year (one more marriage this weekend). It's cool to see these friend go through this new stage of life. It really is a celebration of what God has done in their lives and where He's leading them in the future.

I've gone to a lot of concerts this year: WinterJam, All Left Out, Battle of the Bands, Family Force 5, The Fest, Red, (Mutemath coming up). They've really brought fun and excitement to my life right now. Also, done some random short trips just to bring spontaneity back into my life. Drove to Pittsburgh one day because I'd never been there before. Drove to Canton just to go to a great Indian restaurant for lunch. Planning on making a trip down to Columbus and to Chicago (just to see a theater show). Why not?

I can't wait to see what the Lord has next for my life. Right now I'm learning about joy and strength in the midst of weariness. It's hard, but good.

My Life Through Song

Music is a large part of my life. Melodies, lyrics, and beats reach my inmost being. Often, when I go through hard times or exciting times a song will come to mind that fits the situaiton. If I were to put my life to song right now, here are the lyrics that would come out:


Either this life is meaningless or its meaning is
Eclipsed by a series of events that satisfy for the moment
But once your moment is passed your moment's the past
Then *poof* dude you can't revive it or hold it
You're born you suffer you die when you're older
But there's a loophole, I wouldn't lie to my soldiers
Nor would I lie to my sisters, God is my witness
Jesus Christ is the only escape from out of your prison


~'DA TRUTH



Why, why are you still here with me? Didn't you see what I've done?
In my shame I want to run and hide myself.
But God's here I see the truth I don't deserve you.
But I need you to love me, and I won't keep my heart from you this time
And I'll stop this pretending that I can somehow deserve what I already have.

I, I have wasted so much time pushing you away from me
I just never saw how you could cherish me
Cause you're a God who has all things and still you want me.
Your love makes me forget what I have been.
Your love makes me see who I really am.
Your love makes me forget what I have been.

I need you to love me


~BARLOW GIRL



There You stood holding me
Waiting for me to notice You.
But who are You?
You are the truth. Outscreaming these lies.
You are the truth. Saving my life.

And I worship. And I worship.


~FLYLEAF



Inside out you are a girl so beautiful
Inside out this love is so incredible
All your life you've never known
Has nobody told you? Has nobody told you?

Beautiful inside and out
I'm wondering how you never knew
You were made in the image of the Most High.
So praise Him you are made wonderfully.
It's true, even if you don't believe
That you're so amazing, I wish you knew.
Don't you know you're so beautiful?


~CALLING ELIJAH



I need you, more than anybody says.
My heart beats faster with you around the bend.
I want you, more than you would ever know.
My heart beats faster. Come on and let it show.

Sticks and stones will break my bones
And names will always hurt me.
The weight of expectation falls.
And brings me to my leads.


~MUMSDOLLAR



Fall down with my face down
Giving up me, myself, and I it’s a bittersweet taste to swallow my pride.
Now face down is where I stay now
If you see me standing up again just knock me back down so I can live face down.


~FAMILY FORCE FIVE



What will people think when they hear that I'm a Jesus freak?
What will people do when they find that it's true?
I don't really care if they label me a Jesus freak.
There ain't no disguising the truth.


~DC TALK



It's the Gospel,
it's the word of the Lord,
people yearn for the cure,
so we carry our swords.

It's the Ministry,
we steppin' up outta church,
and taking it round the earth,
and doing the Father's purpose.

It's the Faith,
'cause the people they need a reason,
hoping that they can see
we fighting for what we believe.

It's the Lifestyle,
this is not a facade,
we die to our pride,
so we can bring honor to God.


~KENAN GABRIEL, feat.BRIAN & CALVIN



Now I've never been very assertive, I guess I always preferred to just keep my mouth shut, so a lot of unspoken words are coming out now. Figured I'd speak out loud before it's too late for me to get my thoughts out.

This world is so perverted from sex, greed, to murder. We've been judged by the clergy and guilty's the verdict, but thank God the High Priest interceded and cleared up the dirt that I stirred up. But thankfully the Living Word is something I heard of which means that death is something I don't got to be scared of I've been cured of it.

Now all the years that I've wasted and all the tears that I've tasted have forced me to face the truth and embrace it. Which leads me to the question it's simple and basic: What is true life and have you ever tasted it?

There's only one thing to live for, die for, get killed for,
and no it's not what they selling on them billboards.
Death is for certain, you can't take the pill for it.
It's happening whether you will or won't ignore.
Look at the signs, we running out of time,
There's work to be done it's the Bottom of the Ninth.
So get busy, hey, get busy, hey,
Choose life, seek Christ, and get busy, hey.

So when you're tired and low down and everything seems to go wrong put on your rally caps and be strong. We down in the bottom of the ninth but know now the one who's gonna win the showdown. So keep, keep on, keep fighting the whole round, and know the same One who's faithful is gonna crown, He see's ya. So get busy. He's so proud you're his own child believe me.

You only got one life to live.
You only got one life to give.
You only got one life to lose.
You only got one life to choose what you gonna live for.
There's only one thing worth living for.


~B. REITH, feat. KNINE