A Confession

Why is it so hard to confess our weaknesses or struggles to others? Especially those who are part of the family of God, the one group of people who are there to be an encouragment and help to each other. Today during church I had the chance to pray with a small group of friends and confess an area in my life in which I needed prayer. I came into the worship gathering chipper and excited to be among my christian family, but after that prayer session I had a deep sense of regret that I had confessed an imperfection. Now reading this you may think, "Wow, she should never do that again." But, here's the thing, my feeling of regret had nothing to do with those who were praying for me. It had to do with me and Satan's attacks at me.

I need prayer. I desperately need it. We all do. We need to bring our burdens to the Lord and share them with others. God says to His church family: "Be devoted to one another in brotherly love. Honor one another above yourselves... Share with God's people who are in need. Practice hospitality." (Romans 12:10,13) We are a community, a family. The most comfortable place to express our burdens should be with our family. But when I do this, something in me whispers, "They won't like you anymore. You're a failure because you need help. They're laughing at you behind your back. The fact that you have this struggle means you're not a good enough Christian. These people can't be trusted. You'd better not mention this thing again." and so on and so forth until I regret even mentioning anything. The worst part about this is that I often think that confessing a struggle will result in my feeling a great burden has been lifted from my shoulders, but instead I feel more bogged down.

Thankfully, I'm realizing that my feelings aren't exactly expressing what is actually happening. When I reach out to my church family the burden is lifted; God is working. But my sinful nature and Satan's spiritual attacks would have me believe that the opposite has happened. They would have me believe that prayer doesn't work and that my church family are my enemies. They would have me turn away from ever seeking help and prayer support from other Christians so that the family of God is broken and disconnected. Ironically, when others seek prayer from me for the struggles and burdens they have, I'm excited to help. I don't look down on them or think any less of them. I want to be there for them and offer my support and encouragement. Why don't I realize that this is how others feel when I come to them?

I wrote this blog because I needed to write it. I needed to remind myself of these truths. I'm glad I did. I also know that others need to be reminded of these truths as well. Maybe perhaps you?

Reflections On A Bus

Everyday as I travel to work I sit on a bus, watch the world go by, and think. Oh, nothng too profound. I think about the houses flying by, the cows in the fields, the mountains in the distance, and most importantly, reflections on life.

Here are a few reflections I've made this week:

On paying for a bus ride -
When seeking to ride the bus in New Zealand you must pay a fare. Interestingly, to pay that fare you don't have to have exact change. The bus driver is equiped with a cash box and can take your $10 and give you $8.20 back. As I daily observed this process I thought about how in Cleveland you have to have exact fare or no change will be given. How inconvenient. Even more inconvenient is the bus system in New York City where you can only pay the bus fare with quarters. Imagine having the fare in cash but not in quarters.

On birthday cakes -
In New Zealand birthday cakes come in all types of shapes and sizes. The types of cakes vary from sponge to black forest, and some birthday desserts aren't even cakes at all. This is curious to me since in the US many birthday cakes are very similar. They usually have sugary icing covering the whole cake and writing on the top saying "Happy Birthday...." or any number of messages. I kind of miss that. It makes the cake more personal.

On school uniforms -
The majority of the schools in New Zealand have a uniform that all the students must wear. I can tell which kids attend the same school when they walk onto the bus just by their identical uniforms. In the US, uniforms are usually associated with private schools. Most public schools just have dress codes in varying degrees of strictness. There weren't many dress restrictions at the schools I attended. Jeans and a T-shirts were usually the norm.

On smoking -
New Zealand is a smoke free country, yet I see so many people smoking (teens included). I think I've breathed more clean air walking the streets of Cleveland than I have walking the streets of Hamilton. On the other hand, a year ago Ohio became a smoke free state. What took them so long? At least New Zealand realized the value of a smoke free environment (if only indoors) a long time ago.

Whoops! The bus has reached my stop. That's it for now.

The Curse of the New Zealand Temporary Agency

One of my greatest frustrations here in New Zealand has been the temporary agencies. I came in with the wrong impression of what their purpose was in NZ and have been fuming ever since. I thought the term Temporary Employment Agency meant that it was an agency that found you a job that was temporary to work. Apparently it doesn't necessarily mean they find you a job at all. Even if they advertise that they have plenty of positions. The worst part about the whole situation is that you spend all this time filling out forms, taking computer skills tests, and interviewing only to never hear from the agency again. And calling once a week to inquire about their status on finding you a job doesn't seem to do anything but make them mad. It certainly doesn't speed up the process. Perhaps I wouldn't be so frustrated if American temp agencies were like this, and I expected more of the same, but they're not. In the States, you are usually offered a job immediately if you have some (or even little) office skills. Now once you do that initial temp job the ones that follow may come a little slower. But, generally, if you sign up with multiple temp agencies you can receive constant work. Here in NZ, Cara and I are currently signed up with six, yes SIX, agencies and they can't seem to find us a job (actually in my case it took them 3 weeks to barely offer me a job: I had to call the agent and remind him that I existed).

Here's a run down of the agencies and how they've responded to us.
Kelly's - met with the agent, took computer tests, interviewed for a temp job (which ended up being given to another temp worker who was also interviewed for the exact same position), never hear from them about another temp job, months later discover that our records were lost, new temp agent finds records, currently haven't heard from them in over a month.
Madison - called agency and told to email resume, once resume was received they emailed us to let us know that if a job came up that we fit they'll bring us in for an interview, currently haven't heard from them in over a month.
Manpower - met with agent, took computer tests, etc., haven't heard from them in 6 months, attempts made to contact agent but she always seems to be out of the office.
I.S. Young - met with agent, took computer tests, etc., told they have lots of jobs coming in, haven't heard from them in over 3 weeks.
Enterprise - met with agent, took computer tests, etc., 4 weeks later received a 2 month temporary job, job ends and no new job has been offered in 5 months.
Adecco - filled out forms but never met with agent, told they would call within the week and never do, 7 months later I contact agent about a temp job, take computer tests, agent never responds back about tests or job, I finally call agent and an interview is set up for the next day. 3 days later I actually receive the temp job.

I praise the Lord for the job that I have. I know it was all Him and nothing to do with me because, hey, the temp agencies seem practically impossible to work with. I'm grateful that this job will last for the rest of my time her in New Zealand. Too bad our work permit says we can only work temporary or casual jobs. I'm praying that the Lord will miraculously provide a temp job for Cara that will also last the rest of our time here. It's frustrating putting so much effort into signing up with a temp agency when it's clear they don't really put that much effort into finding a job for their temp workers. Oh well, I'm glad my Father, the Creator, is ultimately in control.