Auntie Tiana

Yayyyyyyyyyyyyyy!
I am officially an Aunt!
My nephew, Alexander Izaak Gabriel, was born at 2:08pm yesterday (February 22).
My brother, the proud Papa, informs me that he has a nose like my younger brother and a face like his Mama. He also has lots of hair.
I can't wait until I get to see a picture of him.
I'm so excited I don't know how to respond.
Am I gonna be a good Aunt?
What does that mean to be an Aunt?
Will Alex love me the way I love my Aunts and Uncle?
(I love his name by the way.)
When will I get to see my nephew?...Hmmm...he's in Florida, I'm in Ohio.
I'm going to New Zealand for a year.
Sob! I won't get to see Alex in person until he's over a year old.
I guess I'll just have to talk to him on the phone, and he can wonder about the strange voice he hears through the talking machine until I show up on his doorstep. (When that happens, I hope he doesn't mistake me for a telephone. Ha ha.)
One thing I do know is that I can pray for him.
This may sound kind of weird but shortly after I learned of Alex's birth I prayed for him during my quiet time with the Lord. I prayed first for his salvation. That he would one day make the decision to accept Jesus as his Savior. Then I prayed that not only would he be saved, but that he would be a growing Christian. A true disciple of Christ, seeking to be obedient to God's Word, and used by God to share His love and truth to the world.
Maybe it's a little early to have such lofty prayers for Alex, but then again, maybe not. May the Lord remember my prayer and answer it in His timing and in His way.

After God's Own Heart

Acts 13:22 - And when He had removed him, He raised up for them David as king, to whom also He gave testimony and said, ‘I have found David the son of Jesse, a man after My own heart, who will do all My will.’

David was a man after God's own heart.

I've been pondering that today. What does it mean to be a man (or woman) after God's own heart?

David was not a perfect man. He lusted after a woman, committed adultery, arranged a murder, and lied to God. And yet...God called him a man after His own heart.

So what does that mean?

I have some ideas but I'd love to hear yours.

Looking Deeper

Why does the overwhelming lesson from God have to be trust?
And by trust I mean patience, peace, following without seeing the end destination, perseverance through trial, and loving the Lord and others despite yourself.
It seems like everything we go through to make us more Christ-like (good or bad) all boils down to trust.

Do I trust the Lord?

Yes.

Do I still want to take the reins in my life?

Yes.

Hmm. Sounds contradictory.

Why am I mentioning this?
Well, the Lord asks me to love all people. He asks me to love my neighbor like I love myself. O.K., what does that look like? I treat myself the best out of anybody I know. I feed myself when I am hungry. I sleep when I am tired. I find something to amuse myself when I am bored. When I am cold I try to get warm. When I am hot I try to get cool. Daily decisions are made as to how to best take care of me. I don't mean this in a selfish way. These are the basics that we all do for ourselves. It's part of being human. I desire to be more like Christ so I do things to see that I am growing and maturing as a Christian. At every moment of every day I am doing something as an act of love for myself. Even denying my selfish impulses to serve others is a form of love for myself because in doing so I become a better person. Now here's the deeper part. I still love myself despite my many faults. I know the depth of evil that is inside me. I am aware of the various wrong thoughts or desires within me. There are things about myself that irk me but can't be changed. There are times when I am really annoyed or frustrate with myself. Yet, despite my knowledge of all these things I still love myself.

Uh oh. Taking what I've just described and applying that to loving others I realize something really difficult. I've got to love people despite their good traits and their bad traits. I have to treat them like they are very important and with the best possible intentions in mind because that's how I show love for myself. I have to love them unconditionally, even if they irk, annoy, or anger me, because this is how I love myself. If they are hunger I should feed them. If they are naked I should clothe them. I should weep with those who weep and rejoice with those who rejoice. I should show them the Lord and encourage them in their growth to be more Christ-like. These are all ways that I love myself. These are all ways that I should love others.

I am everyday placed in situations that require me to love my neighbors. God wants to me to love my neighbors as myself, because when I do, I show my love for Him. This goes back to trust. Do I trust that the Lord places me in the paths of these people and in the situations with these people because He loves me and wants me to show them love in return?

Yes.

This is my reminder and encouragement to love.

Tetelestai

It's starting. In a few days I will be once again traveling all over the state of Ohio (and a little of Virginia) to perform the passion play Tetelestai. I'm so excited! This play has touched so many lives, and the Lord has displayed His power over and over again through the performance of this musical.

I know one life in particular that God has touched in a special way through this musical: Mine. I first saw Tetelestai when I was a junior in High School. I was not a Christian at this point, but had been going to church for a few years with my Mom. My heart was not hardened to the Gospel message, I just thought that since I was a good person I didn't really need a "Savior". Salvation did not seem like as strong a life or death matter to me. Getting good grades, being liked by my peers, and surviving High School was more important to me. A friend from church invited my Mom and I to see Tetelestai. I loved theater so I jumped at the chance to see a free performance of the story I had read in the Bible. The performance hit me in a way I had never been hit before. It's one thing to read about the crucifixion of Jesus - it's another thing to see it acted out in front of you. The anger of the crowd, the calmness of Jesus, and the cruelty of the Roman soldiers all touched me in different ways. I couldn't help but cry at what I saw. I'd like to say that that night I made a decision for Christ, but it took me four more months before I shook off the choking thorns of the world and surrendered my life to Christ. But the images from Tetelestai where in my mind adding to my decision.

So, today, I am now performing in the musical that affected me so many years ago. My prayer is that the Lord will use me and use this ministry to bring people to Him. I pray that the audience will look past the acting, past the singing, past the smoke and lights, and see clearly the message the Lord is speaking directly to them. That's what Tetelestai is all about. We don't do this to give 2 1/2 hours of amusement and entertainment to people. We do this to see lives changed through the good news about Jesus Christ. Hallelujah!

Lots To Do

Sometimes being a procrastinator really stinks!

I am almost 2 1/2 months away from heading to New Zealand and there is still lots to do. My sister and I sat down weeks ago and made a game plan of what needed to be done week to week and we have barely followed our plan. Wait. I'm wrong. We've partly followed our plan. At the beginning of January we had to get another copy of our Birth Certificates so that we would have one in NZ and one in the USA. We looked up what we needed to do online and when we found out that we didn't have to go to City Hall but could request one in the mail we thought, "Sweet. We'll do that." Hasn't happened yet. We looked up travelers insurance. Found a good one at a good price, but we have yet to set a date for when we are going to purchase it. We wrote a packing list of what we need to bring. Have I looked at or added to that list since weeks ago? Nope. Right now, I'm not quite sure where it even is. Now it's February and we need to start looking at apartment and job hunting in NZ. Cara's been looking at apartments, I'm supposed to look at how to apply for jobs online. Um, haven't started that yet. And there's still so much more to do.

Part of the problem is that I'm a procrastinator and a perfectionist. This creates a ton of problems. Because I want everything to be perfectly planned for New Zealand I easily get overwhelmed with the amount that needs to be done. Now, it's ridiculous to think everything will be perfectly planned. Where's the trust and help from the Lord if I try to plan everything with the hopes that everything will go completely perfect? So then my mind says, "Yup. Things won't possibly be exactly perfect so you might as well not start." Add that to a tendency to not even be motivated to start until I'm actually under pressure to finish at the last instant (procrastination), and you get disaster.

It's only by the grace of God that I will overcome my perfectionist/procrastinator attitude and do what needs to be done. And only by His mercy will He bless me despite my failure to do some of those things.