Final Thoughts of the Year

It's almost 2007. So many possibilities. Some definites...

Never mind. No time to think about 2007. This blog is about 2006. It's my final blog of the year. I've decided to end 2006 with some random thoughts about my year. Are you ready to hear them? Alright. Here Goes!

* I love acting. I love professional theater and I'm terrified of it. I want to be a professional actress, but do I have the guts to pursue it? Community theater wasn't that scary once I did it. College theater definitely wasn't that scary once I did it. Maybe that's how professional theater will turn out. Maybe.

* I love my Mom and my sister. They have provided sanity in my life when I most needed it. Don't laugh Cara and Mom! It's true. Yes, we are a crazy family, but it's that craziness that's present even in the difficult times that brings joy and calm to me. I am convinced that I have the best possible travel buddy for New Zealand. There are going to be plenty of times Cara when we'll need a laugh to overcome the times of crying.

* So I watched Pirates of the Caribbean 2 yesterday while getting my hair braided. I still didn't really like it. The girl was the most annoying character. Anyway, this reminds me that of all the movies I've seen this year in the theaters, there were only about four that I thought were not a waste of my money or time. They were: Narnia, Pride & Prejudice, Lady in the Water, The Pursuit of Happyness

* Each day I feel myself getting more dissatisfied with my job. I'm starting to have a short temper with...EVERYONE! Will I every be able to stand working at a job for more than two years?

* I have one statement for American Christians: "If you're in it, be in it!" Following Christ is not a game. And it's definitely not like Calvinball where you make up whatever rules you like as you go along.

* Books are great. I saw a little too much television while spending 12 hours getting my hair braided. Books are great. They don't have commercials.

* At the beginning of the year I subconsciously told God I wanted to trust Him more (actually I said I wanted to have a deeper relationship with Him). Since that point He has steadily been increasing the circumstances that force me to trust Him. They are uncomfortable.

* Suffering produces perseverance, perseverance produces character, character produces hope, hope does not disappoint!

* I AM NOT a perfect Christian. Just read my journal from this year and you'll see why. If I ever start to praise myself and stop praising God for the positive changes in me I just need to read my journal and I'll be humbled. Big Time! Jesus is the only one who can produce anything good in me.

* Random Gospel sharing: Did you know Jesus Christ died for you on the cross? He loves you too much to let you die for your sins. There's one catch though. You've gotta believe and accept His sacrifice.

* Thank you Lord for nature, sunsets, clouds, flowers, creation.

Um....I guess that's it for the year.

Happy Boxing Day!

Today is a very special day for most English speaking countries except for America. It's Boxing Day. I just found out the origin of this holiday. The holiday was originally a day when churches and wealthy people would give money to the poor or their servants that they collected in a box. The purpose of this day was to be aware of those less fortunate than you and to help them. When I read this I thought, "Wow! America really needs a holiday like this. Especially after all the commercialism that we celebrate at Christmas." I was really feeling good about Boxing Day. That is until I did some online research to see how it was being celebrated today.

Boxing Day today in countries like England, Ireland, Canada, New Zealand, & Australia looks kind of like this:

How to Celebrate Boxing Day
1) Attend a sporting event. In England, Boxing Day fox hunting is pretty popular. Or if that's not gruesome enough for you, you can go to Ireland and celebrate the age old tradition of Wren stoning. Kill a Wren bird, put it on a poll, and then go door to door singing and collecting money for charity. (Actually, they usually don't kill Wrens today, but they will put a fake bird on a poll to represent the dead Wrens of the past.)
2) Go Shopping. Yup. Boxing day is one of the biggest days in retail sales for places like Canada, New Zealand, and Australia. In fact, people sometimes line up as early as midnight outside stores to take advantage of the after Christmas sales.
3) Celebrate with friends. This is like a more relaxed Christmas. Sometimes people bring more gifts to share and open or they might just have a potluck get together.
4) Remember those who have provided service to you during the year or those in need. Larger tips, gift baskets, or bonuses should be given to people who serve you or work for you. Canned goods, clothing, or money should be given to charities or those in need.

While I like the fact that giving is still included in the holiday today. I'm sorely disappointed that commercialism is now also a big part of the holiday. I guess most Western countries are pretty much the same around the Christmas season. Bah Humbug!

Sick

I'm sick. (achoo) It's the day after Christmas and (cough) I'm sick. Actually, I've been (cough) sick for the past two days. Sorry, to those of you who came over for Christmas. If you find yourself with a sore throat and a stuffy nose in the next few days, you'll know why. Today, when I should have been at work, I was home sick. (ah..ah..achoo) Yay! I've always wanted to take a sick day but I rarely get sick enough to justify a day off. (cough, cough) I know that sounds kind of ridiculous but hey, there it is. I'm kind of concerned that I won't be able to work tomorrow. I might just (cough) have to go in for half a day anyway to get something done that must be done tomorrow. Isn't that horrible? We live in a world where sickness (ACHOOOO!!!) is not a good enough reason to abandon work. And the type of sickness determines the acceptable amount of time off. With chicken pox, the flu, or strep throat people say, "Please stay away until you are no longer contagious!" The common cold, however, now that's another story. If you sneeze or cough they say, "Just walk it off." "Pop a couple of cough drops and you should be fine." Even if you lose your voice you can still work. I talked to some worker at a retail store a couple weeks ago who had a very raspy voice due to a cold. Can I tell you, all I thought was, "You need to go home." and "Please don't breathe on me." Not good folks. So...I have a cold. (achoo..cough) I was wise to stay home today and not spread my germs to my co-workers. But tomorrow...
I'll probably be like most people and cough and sneeze my way through getting my job done. Sad but true. Be thankful you're not working with me.

Reflections: Christ is Born in a Manger?

So yesterday the Christmas program I wrote and directed for my church was performed. I can't begin to describe how the Lord worked in and through this program. Every emergency revealed His presence. In every mishap He was there. Every awesome thing that happened gave glory to Him. Each actor, child, parent, crew person, etc. involved was a testimony to the goodness of God. I am so grateful to the Lord for allowing me to go through the challenge, trial, and blessing of directing my church Christmas program this year. Had I known in advance the amount of work and stress this experience was going to be for me I probably wouldn't have chosen to do it. But God, in His goodness, knew exactly what was right for me. He had me do it, knowing the frustration that I would face, because He had a greater purpose that I can't begin to understand. I might never know until I reach heaven. Don't get me wrong, the program was amazing. And the process wasn't that bad. It just wasn't what I expected or "planned" when I first agreed to take on the project.

This makes me think about the birth of Jesus. The Jewish people knew He would one day come, but they never expected that He would come in the way He did. If we really think about the events surrounding the birth of Jesus, they make no sense.

God came as a baby. Why not just appear in the world as an adult and start the ministry from there? Why make a godly and pure woman go through the pain of child birth and the humiliation of being an unwed mother? I'm sure she told others she was a virgin but you know how people are - we love to gossip about scandals. And would they have had any reason to believe her? Up until this point virgin births were an impossibility. Also (ladies, you can relate to this), she was engaged to be married when God made her pregnant. She probably was looking forward to becoming a loving wife, and now she had to tell her husband-to-be that she was pregnant. Joseph was planning on breaking up with her before the angel spoke to him in a dream. How devastating would that have been for Mary? Yet, this is how God chose to come to earth.
Then, Jesus, the King of the Jews, the Mighty Ruler, The Holy One, was born.....in a stable. Why did God have Mary and Joseph travel to Bethlehem right when it was close to the time for Jesus to be born? What a difficult trip that must have been for both of them. Then when they actually reached Bethlehem, God did not provide a comfortable bed and room for them, but instead allowed all the rooms to be full in the Inn so that they had to go to a stable. What an uncomfortable and dirty place to have a baby in. So the savior of the world was born in a barn.
Then, to announce the good news of the Savior's birth God sent a whole crowd of angels to shepherds out in a field. Why didn't He send the angels to the whole town of Bethlehem? Why weren't there angels all over the place in Jerusalem also, letting the Jews know that Christ was here? Why tell some shepherds outside of town and then have the shepherds tell the townspeople of Jerusalem? What a strange way for God to celebrate the birth of His Son.
One more thing. Wisemen from far away in the east followed a star to go to see Jesus? How did they first see this star and realize it was a beacon from God and that it would lead them to the Savior? Why in the world would God bring people from that far away to see Jesus but not the wisemen from close by? And their communication with King Herod brought about the death of many infants in the town of Bethlehem. A joyous birth caused the death of many.

All the events surrounding the birth of Jesus don't make much sense in my mind. And yet they all testify to the goodness of God. After all, God did say, "For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways," declares the LORD. (Isaiah 55:8) When I reflect on Christmas and the birth of the Savior this is something I want to take away from all the Christmas programs, dinners, celebrations, and candlelight services. The life of Christ from birth to death to resurrection is a reminder that it's not about my ways, but it's all about God's ways.

Scrape...Scrape...

Winter is finally here in Ohio.

There was a prediction of a ton of snow and a huge snowstorm for Northern Ohio, but we never received it. Instead we received moderate snowfall common to Northern Ohio winters. Good. It gives drivers a chance to adjust to the new skills needed to drive in snow/ice. It also allows those who have never had a car during the winter months of Ohio to see exactly what they need to survive. One key item being a Snow Scraper.

Oh the glories of winter! Seeing your car encased in an igloo of snow is something that people in the Southern parts of the United States will never quite grasp. It's kind of funny. Sometimes I like to sit inside my car igloo and laugh about the suddenly private closet I have with the windows all covered in snow. It's also fun to sit in the car and watch as snow is being scraped off the car (by someone else) and pockets of light start to peek through the darkness. It's like suddenly seeing a brand new world revealed one scrape at a time.

Unfortunately, I don't get to see many of those "new world" revealing moments because I am usually the one scraping the snow off of the car. Don't feel bad for me. One of my favorite things to do in the wintertime is to scrape the snow (and ice) off of my car windows. I'm not joking. I find it kind of fun.

I think that scraping snow off your car is one of those activities tha fits every mood. If you are joyful and happy you may have fun swishing the snow and watching the small particles whip through the air as the windows start to become clear. If you are angry the scraping of ice becomes strangely satisfying as you grind it off of your car. If you are cold what better way to warm up than to scrape snow off of your car. Let's face it, the car heater won't warm you for at least ten minutes. The scraping exercise will get your blood pumping. If you're in a hurry...um...uh...you might just want to use the windshield wipers and drive a car igloo with eyes. Don't be surprised, though, to see others laughing at the strange site of your car. If you're in a humorous mood do what I usually do: wipe off all of the windows and the hood, but leave a Snow Afro on the top of the car. Depending on how high the snow is, this will also make other drivers laugh.

What a marvelous tool the Snow Scraper is! I praise the Lord for whoever invented it, and I praise Him for the fun that can be had using it.

Dead Man

I know that nothing good lives in me, that is, in my sinful nature. For I have the desire to do what is good, but I cannot carry it out. For what I do is not the good I want to do; no, the evil I do not want to do—this I keep on doing. ~ Romans 7:18-19

This is me. Wanna find out why?

I am sick of people! I wish I lived in a world where everyone believed exactly what I believed and agreed with exactly what I agreed with. Period. Why do I say I love people and then in the next moment find myself really annoyed with them? Sometimes I just want to go away where no one can reach me so that I don't have to interact with others and face the heartaches, pains, and annoyances that they bring. Some of the people that I struggle to love the most are my fellow brothers and sisters in Christ. Why can't all Christians immediately be strong in their walk and desire for God? I also hate that I am not as strong a Christian as I would like to be simply because I haven't experienced enough of the things in life that God wants to take me through so that I can grow to that top spiritual maturity. I am not a patient person.

I really like the new Jars of Clay Song Dead Man (Carry Me). Sometimes I feel like I can really relate to the lyrics

I woke up from a dream about an empty funeral
But is was better than the party full of people I don't really know
They've got hearts to break and burn
Dirty hands to feel the earth
There's something in my veins,
But I can't seem to make it work... won't work

It seems like the closer you grow to the Lord the more you see the evil inside of you. I can't believe the wickedness that's inside my heart. So many sinful thoughts and desires... My sinfulness growing more apparent as I grow stronger in my love and understanding of the goodness of God.

So I find this law at work: When I want to do good, evil is right there with me. For in my inner being I delight in God's law; but I see another law at work in the members of my body, waging war against the law of my mind and making me a prisoner of the law of sin at work within my members. ~ Romans 7:21-23

So Carry Me,
I'm just a dead man
Lying on the carpet
Can't find a heartbeat
Make me breathe,
I want to be a new man
Tired of the old one
Out with the old plan

What can I do when I feel this way, as I obviously do right now? I need to cling to Jesus. The One who sees my heart. The One who understands the struggles I go through. The One who sees the depths of my sinfulness and yet still offers love and forgiveness. The One who delights in shaping me into the true and whole servant of God that He desires me to be.

Can you find a beat inside of me?
Any pulse? Getting worse?
Any pulse? Getting worse?
Inside of me, can you find a beat?

What a wretched man I am! Who will rescue me from this body of death? Thanks be to God—through Jesus Christ our Lord! ~ Romans 7:24-25