so i read this book...

so i read this book. actually i read it twice. actually i read two books. twice.

it's called for women only. well, a book with a title like that sparked my interest. what could one-half of the entire adult population on earth possibly need to know? well i read it. it turns out women definitely need to know this information. it's a book about men. o.k. i bet that half of the women reading this blog just zoned out. the other half are sitting on the edge of their seats. and all the men reading this blog are currently rolling their eyes.

in the past i would have been one of the women who zoned out. i have two brothers and a dad. i should know all about men, right? WRONG!

it turns out that everything i thought i knew about the actions and behaviors of my male family members were rationalized through the mind of a woman. what this means is that many times i thought my brothers or dad did things or behaved in certain ways because of one thing, but really it was because of a completely different reason all together.

how can i explain this book?
it's a survey of men. the writer of the book, shaunti feldhahn, interviewed hundreds of men (christian & non-christian, single & married, old & young) about things like the desire for respect, self-esteem issues, a man's need to provide, romance, & the visual aspect of a man's mind. the surveys revealed what a majority of men thought or felt about these issues. it is a look into the minds of men.

let me tell you, reading the book for the first time was a little hard to swallow. i could not understand the answers that men gave about what mattered to them most. my mind just did not think that way. some of their answers seemed completely opposite to how i was. i next felt overwhelmed because i thought, "how can i ever respond to the men in my life in a way that is uplifting to them when that way seems so foreign or opposite of what i would normally do?" then, a few weeks later, i read the book again. it was a little easier to swallow once i had time to process what i learned earlier, and once i was able to observe the men in my life and apply some of the things i learned. (by apply, i do not mean i treated men like lab rats, observing their reactions to various tests, what i mean is that i wanted to encourage and uplift the men in my life and show them how much i appreciated them. the book gave me a means of doing that in a way that they understood more clearly.)

o.k. i bet you're wondering about the second book i read. well, it's actually the companion to for women only it's called for men only by jeff feldhahn (shaunti's husband). you can't be surprised that i read this book. twice. of course a book for men about women i had to check out! you know, i needed to make sure that what he (and the hundreds of women he interviewed) were saying was true. so i read that book and it hit me in another way. i realized that growing up as a female i was told about the different physical aspects of the female body but i never was really told about how the female mind works. i guess it was something we women were supposed to instinctively know. and to an extent that's true. but when i read for men only, the book actually pinpointed common female traits. it kind of confirmed to me that i was pretty much a normal female. it talked of things like insecurity in relationships, the runnings of the female mind, the desire for security (here's a hint guys: it's actually not about money), the need to express feelings about a problem, & self-esteem in connection with feeling loved.

both of these books opened my eyes to how truly different men and women are. at first they left me confused, but then after further reflection i realized how amazing god is that he created two types of humans that compliment each other. it really is strange that men and women are in some ways almost opposite of each other in their thinking. i think these opposites help to humble us because both men and women are needed in the world to create a good dynamic. you can't have one without the other. we need each other. god knows this.

these books have opened my eyes in a way that am still processing but am excited to know and apply. if you're confused (or curious) about the inner live of men or women i strongly encourage you to check out for women only and for men only. the funny thing is that a lot of this information we just assume the opposite sex already knows about us when in actuality they really have NO CLUE!