Breathing

"I have no fear of drowning it's the breathing that's taking all this work."

~ Jars of Clay Work

Work. These past few weeks just breathing, living life, has been work. Yes, Jesus is wonderful but that doesn't necessarily mean living life will be easy. Here's a summary of my world during the past few weeks:

- A few weeks ago I opened at Starbucks at 5:15am. When I finished work at 11am and returned to my car there was a huge rock in the backseat, glass everywhere, and a huge hole where my rear driver side window used to be. Someone had broken into my car. Thankfully I never carry much in my car so all they got was some spare change for meters and a fold-up butterfly chair. They also attempted to steal the car but only managed to jam the ignition. So I guess over all they went away disappointed. I, on the other hand, was shocked and frustrated. I spent the rest of that day talking to my insurance company, the autobody shop, and a car rental agency. Oh the joys of working downtown.

- A couple days after the car break-in I went on a trip with my dad and sister down to visit my brother, sister-in-law, and nephew in South Carolina. While I definitely enjoyed the trip my funds were severely limited due to the deductible I had to pay on my damaged car. It was added stress that kept nagging me the whole time I was down South.

- Upon returning home I discovered that a monthly payment that I set up to be automatically taken out of my account was taken out of the wrong account (my Mom's). I've been talking with the company for a couple weeks now to get that sorted out. It gets confusing when you talk with a different person every time you call (and the one person you're trying to reach is never available).

- Work has been good and bad. Sometimes my co-workers annoy me with their different ways of doing things. It's like I have to figure out how to do certain things depending on whoever's in charge at the moment. And conversations aren't always the most appropriate. A few days ago I almost had a meltdown because our Area Manager was visiting the store all day and all the experienced workers were telling me new things to do only when the Area Manager was around. I was annoyed. Why don't we do things the "proper" way all the time?

- This morning I was mourning the loss of a friend. They didn't die or anything like that but our friendship is over nonetheless. When I was in New Zealand it was easier to ignore this loss, but now that I'm back in the States it's more in my face. I asked the Lord why it had to be this way? I don't know the answer. I know He'll help me deal with this, but it's still...work.

"I have no fear of drowning it's the breathing that's taking all this work."